Spring is Coming!

First ice cream of the season.

Cavorting Marzipan Pigs

Are not unusual... If you are From Germany. 

Many different types of marzipan pigs are there for the taking. 

Many types. 

Official Contradictions

Winnipeg tries to be bilingual, but it has trouble some days. 

Take this sign. The 'Killarney' side is correct with the matching Rue and Street but the Glen side dies not. Is it a street are an avenue? At this corner, it's both.

Decriminalize What?

I love the quinoa section!

Amazing what comes up during elections. This article was in the Winnipeg Free Press.

Pop goes their world: Leaders grapple with silly celebrity-culture barrage

By: Bartley Kives

Posted: 09/16/2011 3:27 PM

In his 1985 landmark Amusing Ourselves To Death, American media critic Neil Postman argued the North American public had become addicted to entertainment, thanks to dumbed-down TV programming, vapid radio and declining print journalism.

Needless to say, it’s a good thing Postman isn’t around today. Pop culture and celebrity gossip trumps actual news in the modern media environment, where reality TV boasts better ratings than political leaders’ debates, sports tickers are more important than headlines and traditional news-gathering outlets struggle to compete with Twitter and Facebook.We invited candidates to tell us more about themselves. See what they had to say.

Reporters often lament this. But sometimes, we just go with the flow.

To that end, the leaders of Manitoba’s four mainstream political parties agreed to subject themselves to a quiz about pop culture, sports and their personal entertainment and lifestyle preferences. In the 2011 provincial version of our semi-annual election-campaign exercise, here’s how four smart politicians responded to a bunch of really stupid questions:

Which AMC television series best describes your party: The Walking Dead, Mad Men or Breaking Bad?

Enlarge Image

James Beddome (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

James Beddome (Green Party): I’m going to have to say Mad Men, because we’re pretty clever with our marketing techniques.

Jon Gerrard (Liberals): Breaking Bad? It’s the best of the three choices.

Hugh McFadyen (Progressive Conservatives): It’s gotta be Mad Men, for no apparent reason other than the fact that I’ve never heard of the two other shows. And apparently I wear nice suits, according to the NDP.

Greg Selinger (NDP): God, let’s go with Mad Men for what the heck. It’s the only one I know really well, it’s a pretty good series and it’s got a little depth to it as well.

How would you handle Snooki?

Beddome: Ooh, that’s a tough one. Moratorium?

Gerrard: I would take things as they come and just do the best I can.

McFadyen: Well, clearly this is the main ratings driver for Jersey Shore and I think you just let Snooki be Snooki.

Selinger: Who is Snooki?

Where does your party stand on the Kardashians?

Beddome: You know, I’ve never actually watched the show.

Gerrard: I can’t help you on this one.

McFadyen: We would want to take a balanced approach with the Kardashians and ensure the appropriate measure of fiscal restraint with protecting frontline services.

Selinger: Let’s put it this way – they know how to get media headlines.

Say you’re a vampire. Who’d be better company – Bella Swan, Sookie Stackhouse or Buffy Summers?

Beddome: Buffy The Vampire Slayer? Is that who you’re talking about? It’s the only one I’ve watched. I’m not a big TV guy.

Gerrard: Buffy Summers? Just seems like a good idea.

McFadyen: All of the above?

Selinger: Buffy Summers. She has a vampire-like first name.

Who would play you in a movie about your life?

Enlarge Image

Jon Gerrard (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

Beddome: Who would be up for the role? James Brolin.

Gerrard: Robert Redford. He stands up for little people and I believe standing up for the ordinary Manitoban is important.

McFadyen: Betty White. No, I would be flattered if we could get Vince Vaughan to do it.

Selinger: How about Gregory Peck. You want to know why? Same first name.

What’s the last book you read?

Beddome: The Omnivore’s Dilemma, by Michael Pollan.

Gerrard: The last book that I read is one which talks about the art of persuasion. It’s Split-Second Persuasion.

McFadyen: This is just going to put people to sleep: Yalta. I’d have to check the guy’s name. He’s a Ukrainian historian. It’s about the Yalta peace negotiations and post-World War Two Europe division of powers.

Selinger: Joseph Boyden, Through Black Spruce. And a little one called Skufty, by a guy named Bruce Benson, up around Gimli. And I’m working through Stieg Larsson right now.

What’s the first album you ever purchased?

Beddome: Nirvana, Nevermind.

Gerrard: Good question. I suspect it was a Beatles album. I can’t remember which one. It was love songs, like the Yellow Submarine.

McFadyen: I think it was Boney M, Night Flight To Venus.

Selinger: That would have been a long time ago. Maybe, Beatles album, probably, back in the day?

What was the last concert you attended?

Beddome: Shotgun Jimmie, at the Lo Pub.

Gerrard: I was at the performance by Keith & Renee. Keith is a River Heights performing artist.

McFadyen: It’s got to be Coldplay, a couple of years ago. It’s been a while.

Selinger: It’s been a while since I’ve been at a concert.

What band should perform at NHL FaceOff, the concert before the Jets’ home opener?

Beddome: I think we should find something local. I think The Weakerthans are a good choice. Another might be Greg MacPherson or you could even do The Liptonians. All three, good Winnipeg bands who could kick off the Jets.

Gerrard: Neil Young.

McFadyen: I’d love to see The Guess Who.

Selinger: How about The Weakerthans?

Who is your favourite Winnipeg Jet from the original era?

Beddome: When I grew up, Teemu Selanne, man. As a little kid, Teemu, Teemu, Teemu had it going on there. He almost took us to the playoffs a few times.

Gerrard: Bobby Hull.

McFadyen: Veli Pekka-Ketola. He lived in St. James and I met him when I was a kid. I got his autograph. Obviously Bobby Hull and Anders Hedberg would be obvious candidates.

Selinger: He’s still playing. You know who I’m talking about, down in California there? Aaaand ... give me his name. Come on, he’s a really good player. Help me out guys. My favourite player was the guy who got the 70 goals in his first year.

What about your favourite new Jet?

Beddome: I haven’t really had a good chance to take a look at the roster. I gotta wait to see a couple of games to see who the starters are.

Gerrard: [After a long pause, handler David Shorr whispers "Kane."] There are a lot of good Jets, so it’s hard to pick a favourite.

McFadyen: Andrew Ladd. Byfuglien. One of those two guys.

Selinger: I think Dustin Byfuglien’s very popular in spite of the current challenges he’s got. He’s a very popular guy.

Who is the Mayor of Swaggerville?

Enlarge Image

Greg Selinger

Beddome: The Mayor of Swaggerville? It’s something off Family Guy, maybe?

Gerrard: Right now it’s Sam Katz. The swagger is not as good as it was but we hope it’s going to get better.

McFadyen: It is O-...? The mayor is not be confused with the CEO of Swaggerville. I was just reading about it this morning. Hasn’t Swaggerville been discontinued?

Selinger: Oh, gosh. I’m not sure who it is. The whole defensive corps themselves, they all play together. They’re really quite good.

What would you rather do to blow off steam: Play a round of golf, hike 15 kilometres, spend the day fishing or fire off several rounds of ammunition?

Beddome: Hike 15 kilometres. It takes me back to (being) a kid. I grew up in the Little Saskatchewan River valley. From a young age, literally three or four years old, I used to love hiking around the bush in the river valley.

Gerrard: Hike 15 kilometres. I enjoy getting outdoors.

McFadyen: I would have to say hike 15 kilometres. Golf raised my blood pressure.

Selinger: Hiking would be more fun.

What brand of beer must be in your fridge?

Beddome: Half Pints. I’m partial to St. James pale ale but I also like Bulldog amber.

Gerrard: Fort Garry dark ale.

McFadyen: MGD and probably a Labatt’s product of some kind, which goes back to curling days, when they were our big sponsor. I’m loyal to that brand.

Selinger: I had a little pale ale from St. James last night. That was quite nice. That would be a nice beer to have. That’s a local beer.

Favourite variety of wine?

Beddome: I really like Cuma Malbec and another one that I like is Birchwood Estate Merlot-Gamay.

Gerrard: The wine produced by Rigby Orchards in Manitoba, near Killarney.

McFadyen: I don’t drink a lot of wine. I really don’t. Anything in a box.

Selinger: I like a light white. Something fruity. Something you can eat with fish. It’s a nice light wine.

Where do you stand on the decriminalization of quinoa?

Beddome: We have so many vegetarians in the party, they need their quinoa. Come on, don’t mess around with them.

Gerrard: Quinoa is a drug, I presume? ["It’s a grain," handler Nancy Chippendale interjects.]

McFadyen: Clearly, the war on quinoa raises all kinds of public policy issues we need to be mindful of.

Selinger: What is quinoa?

Food-wise, what’s your guiltiest pleasure?

Beddome: Sweets. I like ice cream, and baked goods.

Gerrard: Cake. Cheesecake. I like the taste of it. When I get the chance, I eat cheesecake.

McFadyen: Peanut M&Ms, the official food of campaign 2011.

Selinger: Peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

Say you have a night off. What would be your favourite thing to do in Winnipeg?

Beddome: I’d just go down to Osborne or Sherbrook and hit a few of the local pubs – the Standard, Cousin’s or the Toad up in Osborne Village, just to have a beer with some good friends and some good conversation.

Gerrard: I like to spend it with my wife. Sometimes we go to a movie. Sometimes we play tennis. We just get out and do something together.

McFadyen: In Winnipeg, it would be got to a movie or maybe listen to a band play somewhere. But you know what, I haven’t had a night off in a couple of months, so I’m starting to get rusty at these things. Pizzeria Gusto would be a good place to go for dinner.

Selinger: I went for a bicycle ride last night down to that new tapas bar, Segovia, with my son. We had a lot of fun down there.

Where did you meet your wife/girlfriend?

Enlarge Image

Hugh McFadyen (WAYNE GLOWACKI / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

Beddome: I met my girlfriend on the Greyhound bus. We were both on our way to write the LSAT, the law-school admission test. We couldn’t get into Winnipeg, either of us. So we went to Brandon.

Gerrard: I met my wife in Newfoundland. Naomi was nursing and I was a medical student at that point. We happened to meet in northern Newfoundland, in St. Anthony, and the rest is history. We met in the emergency room.

McFadyen: I met her at a Boxing Day party. You’re thinking to yourself ‘Who has Boxing Day parties?’ but there was a Boxing Day party at a friend’s house in St. James, and that’s where we met.

Selinger: The University of Manitoba. Undergrad. We were in the same classes together.

What’s the one thing people would be surprised to learn about you?

Beddome: I’m more approachable than anyone realizes. I don’t care who you are, from someone who’s having a tough time on the streets and someone that can be in a three-piece suit who has a lot money. I can sit down and relate to anyone.

Gerrard: For vacations, I often climb trees and band eagles.

McFadyen: That I am probably really a geek at heart and kind of shy, which normally don’t get associated with people in politics.

Selinger: Probably that I used to drive an English minivan. You know the Austin Mini? A right-hand drive, English minivan, in Winnipeg.

Please name the make and model of any vehicles you own.

Beddome: I recently acquired a Buick Century from my recently deceased grandmother’s estate. It’s a 1996.

Gerrard: We have a Toyota Prius, 2007. And we’ve got a Toyota Corolla, from about 2000.

McFadyen: A Mazda MPV van and I’m fortunate in my job to have a fleet vehicle, so I don’t own it. Currently, it’s a Ford Escape.

Selinger: An Escape hybrid. It’s a lease.

Please name all your pets.

Beddome: It’s just sad. I had a another pet that just deceased. She was my little cat, Candy. I had her since I was about eight years old. She was 18, 19. I had to lose her. But I have another cat who’s more my girlfriend’s than mine, but now it’s mine. He’s a lovely orange cat named Charlie. He’s very furry. You can go on my Facebook page. I have pictures of them.

Gerrard: We don’t have any pets at the moment, but we’ve had lots of them.

McFadyen: Meika the dog. Eight-month-old cross between a shih tzu and a spaniel.

Selinger: Don’t have any pets, just passions.

Please name the brand, country of origin and approximate retail value of the suit you’re wearing.

Beddome: What I like to do is go second hand. I buy suits and take them into a tailor. This is Bellissimo. I got it at I’m not sure what second-hand store. I would have taken it in to get tailored. It’s a good way for people to be green and save money.

Gerrard: This is a suit I purchased at Moore’s. JBH, I guess. It would have an approximate value of about $500.

McFadyen: The brand is a J.P. Tilford. I think it was made in Canada, actually. This one would have been on sale for about $500, which would be at the expensive end of the range.

Selinger: Oh god, $400. I have no idea where it’s made. I’ll have to check out the brand. There is no obvious brand on it. Let’s put it this way – I got it in a basement at a good price.

Say one genuinely nice thing about one of the other party leaders.

Beddome: I can say something nice about them all. Everyone who puts their name on the ballot does it because they want to make Manitoba better.

Gerrard: I’ve known Greg Selinger for a number of years in the Legislature. I think he tries hard.

McFadyen: Knows a lot about birds, Dr. Jon Gerrard. I have a soft spot for Dr. Jon.

Selinger: They’re all very committed to what they do. They’re all working like heck right now.

Finally, which marsupial best describes your party?

Beddome: A kangaroo, because we can jump across really fast and we have a lot of things hiding in our pockets, namely some extra pocket change from our free-fare bus policy.

Gerrard: Maybe a duck-billed platypus? The marsupials would be possums, things like that.

McFadyen: (Emerson MLA) Cliff Graydon.

Selinger: The kangaroo. It has a lot of bounce.

Questions You Just Can't Answer

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no rational human being would eat?

the Winnipeg Jets or...

Since we are once again an NHL city, there has been much debate about what the 'new' team should be called.

A letter to the editor in today's Free Press had be giggling. I wonder if you will enjoy it as much as I?
"The name "Threshers" has been suggested for our new NHL team. What a great idea! A fine prairie name for a fine prairie province.

Maybe we could get Atlanta's old jerseys; think of the money we'd save, having to change only one letter. We Winnipeggers are known for our thrift.

Of course, if we are going to redo the jersey artwork, what could be more intimidating than having a big combine on our player's chests? Or perhaps artwork of a grizzled farmer would strike fear into their opponents. Enthusiastic fans could throw hay onto the ice. The possibility are endless!

MARCUS Le NABAT

Winnipeg"

Hardly Room for all the Big Heads

The Geek is having one of her Instructables published too!
She got this letter the other day.

Congratulations!

Hey there,

Instructables is trying something new! We're turning some of our guides into eBooks that will be available for kindle and iBooks readers. They'll also be free to any Instructables pro member through the site. This means we'll be getting your awesome projects out to a new audience and even more people to share.

One of your Instructables was chosen for a collection of solar projects. If for some reason you would rather not be included just PM me and let me know.


Congratulations again on being a part of the ongoing improvements at Instructables and thank you for sharing your project!

Best,
Jason

This is her project. http://www.instructables.com/id/Trickle-charging-auto-switching-LED-helmet/

Wow! I'm to be Published

I received this email today.
"Hello, Sox.

Congratulations!

Your Instructable has been selected for inclusion in an Instructables eBook. We're taking some of our Guides to the next level, and converting them into an eBook format to better share Instructables projects with a wider audience.

You'll get a copy of the eBook, which you can share with friends and family -- especially those with iPads.

You can see a draft of the eBook here: http://www.instructables.com/id/OEXKBDOGH8A5HPH/
Before publishing the eBook, I will be writing up a description of the projects and a link back to Instructables.com

We hope you're as excited as us, and wanted to reach out to let you know this was happening.

If you don't want to be included for any reason, please write back and let us know by Dec. 9.

Cheers,
Instructables Robot"

This is the instructable that will be featured, so the Geek will be famous too! http://www.instructables.com/id/Sew-a-Propellor-Equipped-Beanie/

And don't worry. I won't forget all the people I knew 'before'.

The Arduino Playground

Ruzter sent the Geek this arduino for her birthday. (It is the small blue bit near the pencil).
I have no idea what it does, but she has been spending a great deal of time playing with it using this website and by all appearances having a great deal of fun. There is no need for me to understand.

Hello Kitty

Ruzter has been practising Random Acts of E-bay. He sent me these 'Hello Kitty' pins. They are quite cute. I just have to incorporate them into my wardrobe and we're off.

The Secret? Humour

I liked this article from today's Winnipeg Free Press.

Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

What's the secret? 'No sex after 40'

Centenarians share their formula

By: Carol Sanders

WINNIPEG FREE PRESS

Stella Baran, 101, with daughter Nettie Kowbel (left) and granddaughter Donna Wankling, lives in her own suite, works out.

EAT bacon and eggs for breakfast every day except Friday. Lift weights. Be yourself. No sex after 40. Have a sense of humour. Pray.

These are just a few anti-aging tips some true longevity experts shared Sunday at an exclusive party in their honour in south Winnipeg.

A retirement home put a call out inviting Manitobans ages 100 and up for a birthday bash.

Eighteen centenarians showed up at Seine River Retirement Residence Sunday, where they were feted with fancy sandwiches, balloons, birthday cake and politicians' good wishes. Some of the birthday partiers were willing and able to share some wisdom on how to live a long life.

"Be happy and be yourself," said Marge Mewha, who grew up in Teulon. The great-great-grandmother lives in her own apartment and said she gets her exercise keeping the place tidy.

"No drinking, no smoking, no sex after 40," deadpanned Irene Rowlin, who turns 105 next month. She taught piano until she was 85 and served as a school trustee in St. James in the 1960s.

"Work," said Norman Wicharenko, 100, a retired farmer who still lives in his own home in Cooks Creek. He and his wife will celebrate their 74th wedding anniversary next month. He said he makes himself bacon and eggs for breakfast every day except Friday -- porridge day.

"Eat porridge every morning," suggests Myrtle Bargery, 102. She grew up on a farm near Beausejour, has kept her figure and maintained her weight. Bargery and her husband never had kids or owned a car and walked everywhere.

Don't stop moving just because you're old, the centenarians said.

"I work as much and eat as much as I can," said Stella Baran, 101. She lives in her own apartment and prepares her own meals. Baran also lifts free weights, walks laps on a track twice a week and has three great-great-great-grandchildren.

But being so old isn't a piece of cake, said Margaret Loewen.

"I shouldn't be here, but here I am," Loewen laughed. She had skin cancer removed from her face a few days ago, but felt well enough and wanted to attend the party with her peers.

Loewen came to Canada from Russia in 1926 at 17 to work on a farm near Carman before marrying and starting her own farm. When times got tough, she relied on hard work and her faith.

"Call on the Lord and it goes away," Loewen said.

On the farm, there was no store nearby. They survived on the vegetables and chickens they raised, literally living off the land, she said.

Eighty years later, all that exposure to the sun has left Loewen with skin cancer that she regularly has removed.

"It's not easy," she said of being 100 -- not the cancer. Like many of the 100-plus partygoers, Loewen is hard of hearing and her eyesight is is getting worse.

"I can't see faces," said the outgoing woman, who has a dozen great-great-great-grandchildren. Loewen recently moved into a seniors residence. She struggles to recognize her new neighbours at meals but making friends is worth the effort, she said.

"Do a lot to get happy."

carol.sanders@freepress.mb.ca

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition September 20, 2010 A3

Launched

It took eleven months, but the canoe we received last October has finally been launched. Tho' there have been many beautiful weekends this summer, somehow we just didn't get the canoe in the water. We even joked about bringing a pail of water back from rowing to throw on it, just to say it had gotten wet.
We're ok now.
We pushed off into the Seine River off John Bruce Road. Within minutes, my deltoids reminded me we had spent Tuesday in a wheelchair, but they loosened up.
The Seine is quite high for this time of the year, but there has been so much rain, all the rivers are high.
We haven't had a frost yet, but the leaves have started to turn colour.

The beaver have been busy. We wiggled and jiggled ourselves over their dam.
The geese are preparing to fly south, but they are enjoying their time on the Niakawa Golf Course until then. I wonder if goose poop is considered a golfing hazard?

We saw several deer. Nice to see, vexing for those people who find them in their gardens munching on the vegetables.
For this log jam, we had to get out.
After the log jam, the culture of the river changed. We found many shopping carts and bicycles dumped in the river. Maddening.
This little blue bike was small enough to fish out. It will undoubtedly serve as a donor for future bike related projects.
We pulled out at the Niakawa Road pedestrian bridge. Tina took her bike and went to get the truck while I dragged everything close to the street. The air was starting to cool down as I waited. It was a good way to spend the afternoon. Too bad about the trash in the river.

Beyond the Comfort Zone

I went to the local thrift store to buy a set of scrubs for school. The Geek came along and found a few things as well.
One thing that caught my eye were a pair of funky shoes. They weren't my size, but they fit the Geek perfectly. This is not the sort of thing the Geek would normally wear, but they were too fun to leave behind.We were going for supper at a friends, so of course, what else would she wear?

I Get Physics!!

Today I learned everything I need to understand physics.

1) F=ma

2) You can't push with a rope.

My job here is done!

Earthquakes and Volcanoes, Oh My!

Found this gem of an article from the Chicago Times in a rather round-about fashion. Makes me wonder, if this dude is right, and immodest dressing causes earthquakes, what did Iceland do?

Iranian cleric blames women's immodest dress, promiscuity for earthquakes, urges repentance

SCHEHEREZADE FARAMARZI Associated Press Writer

12:35 p.m. CDT, April 19, 2010

BEIRUT (AP) — A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes.

Iran is one of the world's most earthquake-prone countries, and the cleric's unusual explanation for why the earth shakes follows a prediction by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a quake is certain to hit Tehran and that many of its 12 million inhabitants should relocate.

"Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran's acting Friday prayer leader.

Women in the Islamic Republic are required by law to cover from head to toe, but many, especially the young, ignore some of the more strict codes and wear tight coats and scarves pulled back that show much of the hair.

"What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?" Sedighi asked during a prayer sermon Friday. "There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam's moral codes."

Seismologists have warned for at least two decades that it is likely the sprawling capital will be struck by a catastrophic quake in the near future.

Some experts have even suggested Iran should move its capital to a less seismically active location. Tehran straddles scores of fault lines, including one more than 50 miles (80 kilometers) long, though it has not suffered a major quake since 1830.

In 2003, a powerful earthquake hit the southern city of Bam, killing 31,000 people — about a quarter of that city's population — and destroying its ancient mud-built citadel.

"A divine authority told me to tell the people to make a general repentance. Why? Because calamities threaten us," Sedighi said.

Referring to the violence that followed last June's disputed presidential election, he said, "The political earthquake that occurred was a reaction to some of the actions (that took place). And now, if a natural earthquake hits Tehran, no one will be able to confront such a calamity but God's power, only God's power. ... So let's not disappoint God."

The Iranian government and its security forces have been locked in a bloody battle with a large opposition movement that accuses Ahmadinejad of winning last year's vote by fraud.

Ahmadinejad made his quake prediction two weeks ago but said he could not give an exact date. He acknowledged that he could not order all of Tehran's 12 million people to evacuate. "But provisions have to be made. ... At least 5 million should leave Tehran so it is less crowded," the president said.

Minister of Welfare and Social Security Sadeq Mahsooli said prayers and pleas for forgiveness were the best "formulas to repel earthquakes."

"We cannot invent a system that prevents earthquakes, but God has created this system and that is to avoid sins, to pray, to seek forgiveness, pay alms and self-sacrifice," Mahsooli said.

As If 'They' Weren't Making Enough Money From Women

This article was in today's edition of the Winnipeg Free Press. I found the Tush Tryouts section areas highly amusing...

No ifs, ands or butts

Padded undies give a guaranteed bum boost to those who feel they lack a delectable derrière

By: Carolin Vesely

Padded undies give a guaranteed bum boost to those who feel they lack a delectable derrière.

A GOOD friend of mine who’s in his early 50s recently went to a seamstress to get a pair of pants altered. Although the woman spoke minimal English, she apparently had no trouble articulating the sartorial challenge before her.

"You got no bum," she told him.

My friend laughed it off, although he did start adding lunges and squats to his regular routine.

Little did he know that for less than $50 he could've just bought himself a butt.

Underwear that enhances -- nothing new under the sun for women -- may be the shape of things to come for more men as they feel the pressure to conform to their own unrealistic beauty standard.

When guys start worrying about how they look from behind, you know they're feeling it.

A Google search for "butt enhancers" reveals a buttload of options for maximizing your gluteus maximus without actually engaging that muscle (or undergoing a cosmetic procedure, although that option also seems to be gaining attention). Judging by the number of products targeted at men, you'd think the padded bra had switched teams and moved south.

Bottoms Up, a Toronto company founded by a one-time Winnipegger, sells customized briefs with removable contoured butt pads ($45.99) in three thicknesses (Quarterback, Halfback and Fullback). The latter will plump a rump up 2.7 centimetres. Men who prefer the full package deal can add Pouch Pads ($11.99).

Jack Timlock, a former costume and set designer who developed the undies, says business is booming, even though he has never advertised. (Sales reportedly doubled in 2008 when Regis Philbin held up a pair of Bottoms Up briefs on Live With Regis and Kelly.) Although he has shipped product to some 60 countries, Timlock says 95 per cent of his customers are in the U.S. The majority are male and many are gay.

Timlock says he sells to a lot of men with HIV who have lost the fat after years of taking antiretroviral drugs, as well as cancer patients and "a lot of seniors and people in wheelchairs," but he admits it's vanity that's keeping him in business.

"There are a lot of gay men who want bigger butts. However I also get a lot of wives buying for their husbands. They write and say, 'I'm tired of looking at him in those droopy pants,'" says Timlock, a former producer of Winnipeg's Rainbow Stage theatre. He and Bottoms Up co-owner, Rick Mucha, lived here from 1981 to 1994.

Kerri Christman, owner of Butt For You, also based out of Toronto, says her client base -- again mostly male -- runs the gamut from models, stuntmen, bikers and horseback riders to seniors who want extra padding in case they fall and even men looking to exact a little bootylicious revenge.

"I had one gent who wanted a pair FedExed overnight. He was going to his divorce hearing the next day. His wife had always complained he had no butt so he wanted to walk into the courtroom and show her that he had an ass," Christman says.

No doubt one of the reasons men are paying more attention to their rear ends is because women have become more outspoken about, and are placing more significance on, men's physical attributes. A generation ago, a comment like "Nice butt!" would be considered unladylike, if not vulgar. But today, thanks in no small part to the taboo-busting influence of Sex and the City, ogling and objectifying the opposite sex is no longer a solely male domain.

And vanity, thy name is no longer woman, that's for sure. Bottoms Up plans to launch a pec-pad shirt in the next year and Timlock says there are already more than 100 names on the waiting list.

All of this puts a new gender spin on the old question about false advertising: What happens when a guy who's enhanced to the nines gets into an intimate situation and his unsuspecting partner unwraps the package to discover it's all just padding?

"Maybe keep the lights off," Timlock suggests.

Tush Tryouts

Will a more bountiful booty enrich your life -- even if you have to stock the pantry with store-bought buns? We gave four Free Press employees a chance to answer that question by testing out some padded underwear. Here's their bottom line:

Bottoms Up Men's Butt Padded Briefs ($45.99)

Fit/comfort: They were more comfortable than I thought they might be. Even wearing fairly snug jeans, I could move around and sit down with ease.

Appearance: I'm a fairly fit and slim guy and I found they made my behind look disproportionately big.

Feedback: My girlfriend, when she stopped laughing, said they made me look heavier and that she's never lusted over a guy because his backside was well rounded.

Bootylicious?: They certainly enhanced my key measurements, but I'm not sure if I'd feel any more confident or alluring wearing two mega-sized shoulder pads strapped to my butt.

Bottoms Up Women's Butt Padded Boy Briefs ($39.99)

Fit/comfort: When sitting down, I found them pleasantly comfy, like sitting on a cushion. When standing and walking, I found they crawled into places they shouldn't. They need a redesigned crotch that doesn't have thick seams.

Appearance: The butt falsies made me feel I'd gained an instant five to 10 pounds. And their unsexy design could be a romantic mood-killer.

Feedback: Wearing them with jeans, I got nothing but positive comments, with both men and women telling me I looked younger, hotter, curvier and more bootylicious. Everybody said the look was natural, as if I'd been doing squats. They said my "junk" looked higher, rounder and more "grabbable."

Trying them with a much tighter pair of cords, I found them hotter and more uncomfortable, like a bulky extra layer of clothing. I got comments that the Bottoms Up created a diaper-like bulge -- a bump-out that was too abrupt to look natural.

Bootylicious?: This experience made me self-conscious about my real, flatter fanny. I started to feel inadequate for not exercising enough to beef it up and sort of guilty for taking a "shortcut" to a look that many women spend hours in a gym to achieve.

Would I actually wear the butt-boosters? Not a chance. But they do work as advertised.

Butt for You Men's Boxer Briefs ($36.95)

Fit/comfort: My butt stuck out so far, I was worried whether I'd be able to do up my pants. After you get used to the extra luggage, they're not half bad; they made long days sitting in an office chair more comfy.

Appearance: At first, I felt very on display -- like I had a big bubble butt.

Feedback: My boss was crying, she was laughing so hard. She said that even though she has never looked at my butt, she could tell there was something extra back there. Wore my bum to the Tim McGraw concert. I was there with a buddy who knew about my "project" and when we ran into a female friend of his, we asked her who she thought had the nicer bum. To my amazement, she said my buddy did.

Bootylicious: I've always gotten lots of attention from the ladies and thought for sure something more would happen with my new bum but it didn't.

Butt For You Women's Boyshorts ($36.95)

Fit/comfort: Reasonably comfortable, although likely hot in summer. Best use I found for them: slip on a pair as a built-in back cushion when you're about to sit on a hard-backed chair or pew.

Appearance: When I wore them under my dress pants, I looked a bit matronly from the rear. It reminded me of the bustles women used to wear in the 1800s. Under loose jeans, they filled me out sufficiently that I could throw away my belt. But frankly, the foam on my rear made me look like I'd put on weight. (Dress and undress alone, because the briefs look ridiculous on their own.

Feedback: My partner didn't notice at first, but when prompted to look more closely, offered that my shape looked "abnormal."

Bootylicious?: The Butt for You company won't be hiring me to do their infomercials any time soon. (Unfortunately, the pads are not firm enough to use as knee pads for canoeing.)

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition April 17, 2010

If I Had the Space

and the need, and the cash, I would be seriously tempted by this chair.
The throw looks quite cozy too, tho' I have enough of those. But that froufrou cushion? Ummmm, no.

Go, Canada!!

The neighbours are outside in their hot-tub watching the Canada-US Olympic hockey final. The score is currently 2-0. Love it!


1700 hours: And the Canadians won in overtime-it was no doubt a good game!

Those Crazy Vikings

My mom asked me what was the big deal about the pants worn by the Norwegian Olympic curling team. Since I haven't been keeping up with such things, I had to take a look.

Those are definitely memorable pants. King Harald V of Norway liked them so much, he got himself a pair.
I wonder how long it will take before you see people strolling down the streets of Winnipeg clad in such fine duds? I'm almost tempted; I'm just not sure how they would look on a curvy girl.

(photos compliments of Reuters and the Sydney Morning Herald)

A Warm Carnival

We arrived in Playa del Carman about 6 hours before Ruzter and K were due to arrive.

We took the opportunity to check out our room (it was huge),

and took some time to lounge on the balcony

before heading out to explore.

Speed bumps are very different here.


We had supper, and then did some window shopping. One shop had some beautifully coloured lights.

This restaurant had lovely, colourful tablecloths and interesting sculptures on their roof.

And when we were heading back to the hotel, we heard a percussion band and found a parade heading our way.
We had forgotten it was Shrove Tuesday, and the last night of Carnival in many places.
This was a fun, family oriented parade.


All ages and genders danced down the street.

A great way to start a vacation!